Day 10

If you wonder why I put day's it's because it's the 10th day I have written in my blog for example any who...

I feel like now is a perfect time to be typing away. I have a midterm tomorrow but although I should be freaking out, chewing my fingernails or any other thing your suppose to do the night before a midterm I'm not. For the first time in a long time I'm actually not freaking out. I've been practicing and working on not being a procrastinator and that's one of my flaws. I have organized my time so that I can do the things I want but still get my work done. I get distracted to easily. I see cool youtube videos, or start texting or eating.
I'm taking a break from studying. I need that and I feel like it  helps me to take a little bit of a break and then go back.
Right  now I am on the verge of being sweaty if you get what I mean. It's a weird feeling and wish it would go away. It probably didn't help that I had 2 long sleeve shirts on before this. You see,  when I get up in the morning I'm usually very cold which is normal. Plus it is fall but right now there is no way I need those 2 layers of clothing on top of  me.
Plus I've been itchy lately. Everywhere. I think I'm paranoid and thinking of it which is making me itchy? If that makes any sense. If It weren't for that I probably would of been asleep a lot earlier then i had intended on falling asleep.
I feel like this will be a longer then usual blog but I haven't written in here for a while.
I wish I could write in a journal but with this I feel like I can get out more. When I write after a while I have to stop. My hand starts to get sore and my writing doesn't look as nice as it did at the beginning and when I write I like my things to look nice. Like  my notes. If I don't like my notes or think there to sloppy I do them again. Good thing paper is recyclable!
Well I'm going to get back to my studies. I haven't really gotten the oppurtunity to talk to the boyfriend today. I've been busy with school and stuff. I guess I could be texting him right now but I like the option of when I get back to my work and I don't want to text him when I'm not sure when I'm getting back to my studies. It makes sense to me!

Back to studying I go. Well first with a snack. An apple that's what I'll have! I haven't been eating the healthiest since school started and it's about time I started!

Toot a loos!

- A -

Day 9

This is how my day started. I was getting ready to go to school. I had planned to meet up with toga winner girl (see day 7 blog) .We were going to go around in the morning try to get students to vote for our school. But toga girl had gotten sick that morning. While I was getting ready boyfriend had text-ed me asking how Teacup was doing. Teacup was one of the male kittens that was smaller then the others. They were born the day after my birthday which had made them 6 weeks exactly yesterday. I would call him sitter because he would sit and not play fight with the other kittens.  That's when we new something wasn't right. He was the smallest out of the litter and when we brought food out the other kittens devoured it while he just sat back and watched. I gave him some meat and he ate that fast.So I had assumed he was fine and just didn't like the cat food. I brought them all back to the barn.
So when my boyfriend text-ed me I went out immediately to see if he was okay. He wasn't . I brought him in and put some lamps on to warm him up. I bought kitten formula and fed him through what looked like a needle but wasn't. All morning I heard everyone say he wasn't going to make it. I hated it.  I don't like hearing that. I try to stay positive.  It was so sad to see him like he was. He wouldn't even stand up. I couldn't touch him. No one else had the time to try and save it so there went me trying to study. I tried but couldn't concentrate. It got to the point where I just couldn't handle it anymore. My mom kept an eye on him while she watched the stand from her rocking chair while I went up stairs. I'm going to shower and relax. I cried. It was such an awful day that I did. Tomorrow I'll be over it and that's usually how I am about death, I cry it all out. Talk about that thing who died. All the good things and then say shit happens and move on. It does though when you think about it. Everything happens for a reason and it made sense that he wasn't going to live. I saw it coming but a part of me feels like my mom didn't put the effort in to save him. I couldn't touch it though. I put on gloves. I just couldn't it was just to much for me. So yes if I didn't say it yet Teacup did die.

I now sit with one of the others. It just sucks because he or she looks just like Tea cup. They all do. 5 black kittens Midnight ( the mom) had.

I'll miss you tea cup. <3

This is not how I had planned my day, and that's what sucks about life. Well I guess depending how you look at it. You never know what your day will bring. It could be awful or great. So now I'm going to take a shower, clear my mind and get back to studying.